Black and White Rain

I said to myself tonight
there will be no pain tonight
there will be nothing
just clutching of pillows
and a blanket to cover me
black and white
it covers everything
and there is a sheen of black and white rain on the table
on the street
on the neon sign of this night-time animal farm
everywhere
black rain and white
staining my pillow
staining my bed sheet
leaving traces
without colour
just a sheen
nothing to notice
nothing to know
where it fell
on the dog's chin
near my feet
making all that is there
into all that isn't
like a vineyard of age
it's eating through reality
a starkness
a way of the eyes
a way of the mind
a way of wishing
it is there in these
the hollowness is heavy now
with this rain
purity and decrepit non-understanding
a solemn end
and deadness of living-ness
reflection of
a snobbish knowledge
of bourgeois death
i said to myself
i will live with this rain
this primordial creature
this only being
of honour in a dirty shuffling place
to be or not to be
is in its non-purple or non-pinkness
nothingness and its anti-thesis
cut out so velvet
and dearly from all knowing hands
kept aside like sugar cubes from chaos
there is black and white rain falling
you cant see it
you have covered your eyes with sleep
i wake up in puddles of it's departure
waiting for another cloudy day in the ceiling and numb mind.
waiting
for
rain
black and white
there will be no pain tonight
there will be nothing.