The Last One

There were wings we had
and history
you were a tragedy
and i was a nymph
you were small
and we were
regular lovers
but we loved
i loved

you
i dont know what it was
that you loved
maybe my body
or just my blood
but we loved
what is this kind of love
that is not love?

i was told tonight
carelessly
that i
have never known love
but i have i said
i have loved
the depth
of your smells
searched them in
people's clothes
their jaws
(they have never known
they are too wise
they do not know me
i am mad)
your nose-pin
i have dreamed of it
your pictures
i have cursed
i have also rubbed your
infidelities under my thighs
so that they always stay
with me
so that i never forget what love
tastes like
what love touches like
you have been salt
on nights
and catatonic gazes
on most
but you have been
these
i have loved you

i have loved only you
maybe i still do
maybe that is why
i feel empty
as if my houses
have slipped my name
as if i have no colour
in my skin
as if i have no eyes to
see the world

nothing moves me
nothing stills me
nothing reminds me
of the rains
nothing fills me with more poetry
than those words that come
back like
child Julys

I feel like i must know
no more
I must not love anymore
Oh but
i do not
my love has dried
it has decayed
and become
the gypsy of rust
my love will never exist
the way your
wisdoms could

you could charm a lesbian
they'd say
you could fuck men
they'd say
you didnt love me
they'd say
but what do they know
they know
nothing of unlove

you left with footsteps
and a jacket
and a fatal camera around your neck
but what do those things matter
nothing matters
like it did
when we agreed
to love

and now you say you
were sorry
you were blind?

fuck you
you have no right
to make me cry
fuck you
you have no right to
make me love
fuck you
you have no right
over me
and my sadness
fuck you
dear love


you were the last one.